Turning 18 SOON.

2012-01-28T09:33:00.001-08:00

I really want to go for it D:

so tireddddd.

2012-01-26T03:43:00.001-08:00

lol i just want to sleep.

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Oops.

2012-01-21T17:48:00.001-08:00

I think i will turn grumpy and emo when i lack of sleep.

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Happy early birthday.

2012-01-21T05:42:00.000-08:00

What needs to be said was said. Take care & Happy early birthday~

Hmmm perhaps the date is not as important to me anymore. I don't know, but i guess i wouldn't want to think about you the whole day tomorrow. So yeap happy early birthday. And i'm like 18 this year. So. Yah.

And its not like im doing this outside, and i know how to control. And since im at home, i guess i'll just let myself off and enjoy. Should i save all 4 bottles for tmr, or should i drink some today? haha. I've never tried drinking the whole bottle before though lol.

Hey take care. Haven't seen you in a while unless i really saw you at the bus stop that day lol. Presuming you're okay since i've not heard anything or what. Idk. But i guess its not my problem or whatever anymore. And it absolutely has nothing to do with me.

Time flies. I'm 18 and you're 20 already. One more year and we'll prolly see each other in uni. I really wonder if we will end up in the same course. But ohwells. It has been so long. The wound has healed. Or almost completely i guess. I think i will remember the scar though. You've brought me up to see this world, and you've also showed me what hurt can this beautiful world cause me. I've grown wiser to remember and understand that i should not trust one person so easily and probably even misinterpret what others feel/think/whatever.

I think what happened during then doesnt really matter anymore. I'll just take it as a lesson learnt and move on. Actually to think of it, nothing much happened. I merely relied on you too much. It's okay i've learnt to control my feelings even better and won't let it wander off by its own. I think i have quite good self control now :D I've learnt that no one will stay by my side forever. I think my sense of security is extremely low, but whatever. I dont know how to change that.

I admit that I decided not to go for guiding today partly is because of you, because i don't think i can look at you and celebrate your birthday with you without having the feelings/hurt back again. Anyways something cropped up too. Maybe its zhu ding de. Haha. But its great to hear that you enjoyed yourself.

Just hope that you're doing well and enjoying life, and most importantly, enjoy your birthday!

Life sucks.

2012-01-19T07:25:00.000-08:00

Right. Life sucks a lot. I dont know why i'm living on the earth actually. Just to populate the earth and eat more food and waste more energy? i dont know.

Oh canoe polo.

Rofl. I dont know whats going to happen to me without CP. Like idk whats going to me without semakau last time. But ohwells now i think i've channeled all my energy to CP.

Srsly im going to move back to my room tmr. Cant bear to leave my comfort zone. Whatever. I dont need to step out of my comfort zone at home. I think thats the only place that i'm safe and kept out of all the shitz thats flying around.

I miss my bed )':

Sian people talking to people who are sian will just end up in a sian conversation.

tired.

2012-01-17T21:21:00.001-08:00

maybe its a bad idea to stay out on tuesdays. im damn tired now ):

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question marks.

2012-01-17T15:10:00.001-08:00

i don't know. i thought you're not that kind of person. but somehow idk what happened.

then what makes you different from the rest.

people keep saying stuff. but its kinda impossible. idk i don't even wanna think abt it now.

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New week

2012-01-15T16:03:00.001-08:00

its monday again. morning assemblies are always so sianed. pray that there's no assembly in the afternoon. pray that i don't need to run 2.4 during pe later. but its kinda impossible. heng got bring ipod.

oh ytd's dinner was niceeeeee. if only my mum can cook that well hurhurrrr~

sianxsz hope that bio will be easy later.

i want my pool slot! D:

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Canoe polo

2012-01-14T08:20:00.000-08:00

Apparently we played like shit today.

Sian. Don't want to think about it anymore for now.

I just want to train harder.

I need to stop raising my paddle. Must push push push push push the person firstttt.
And i need to stop looking back when there's like opponents in front of me. Lol. And i shouldn't look back and my teammates should call me when they passing the ball to me when fast breaking?
I need to brush up my zoning. As i can tell from this comp, my zoning became as shitty as i just started zoning wtf. I need to play more zone.
I need to be more aggressive.
I need to sprint faster. I'm not sprinting enough for the balls today.
Need to know what i'm supposed to do.

And lastly, I NEED TO IMPROVE MY SHOOTING.

Kay. And on a happier note, i got my first pull up today :D Happiness. Its not in school, not at nus, not at home, but at NTU LOL. Coolz :D May i become stronger everyday (:

Just let me die.

2012-01-12T19:18:00.001-08:00

Yes. Die. Yay.

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home?

2012-01-09T23:55:00.001-08:00

zzz i hate going home. after staying at home for one year, people managed to convince me that home is the best place. for a while, i though oh maybe it has really gotten better. but i realised i was wrong.

screw it man. it doesn't mean if you removed all the violence at home then everyone will be happy. living with retards are really torturing. or is it just that my expectation of a family is way too high. or is my family just so screwed up.

im feeling so tired at home. i rather stay in school get killed by lessons homework and report than to go home to rest. i really don't understand what's so nice about home. now even the school canteen food is wayyyyy nicer than home food. seriously la everyday face those non-appetising food, who will want to eat? lol. once or twice its ok. but when it's like this almost every day i think it sucks. she can cook better, just that she doesn't bother to. just like she can study better, but she just don't care and don't want.

a bunch of screwed up people.

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2012-01-09T06:02:00.000-08:00

Why is life so sad.
Why is life so tiring.

lol sian. emo. why do i have to worry about things that i shouldn't be worrying at my age.

what should i give up on.

Screwed up brain

2012-01-07T07:49:00.001-08:00

I'm having headaches since like 4+ in the afternoon. Sigh.

Emo. Tired. I dont know whats wrong with me todayyy D:

Disappointed.

2012-01-07T03:34:00.001-08:00

The title explains it all.

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Orientation 2012

2012-01-05T07:30:00.000-08:00

Tiredd.

I ran around in the morning but chionged report in the afternoon.

Orientation finale was damn funny.

Weitieng bought macs for me yay.

School's starting tomorrow.

Mixed feelings.

Falling sick :(

2012-01-03T18:10:00.001-08:00

Lol sleeping on the same beds as my sister has a major disadvantage. everyone will fall sick together. zzz. i better recover soon. will spam water later.

im damn tired. woke up at like 9+ today. slept for almost 10 hours. and im still sleepy. haha.

im hungry D:

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School D:

2012-01-02T07:47:00.000-08:00

School starts tmr D:

男生都是在用下半生来思考 LOL is this true? idk.

But ohwelllllz.

Minitoons got 50% off for the last day today. Hohoho.

And lol i bought a new mizuno BLUE shoe that is quite nice :D LOl it was $149 then idk why got a lot of offer then became $99 then i got 50 bucks voucher then become $49! Roflz. Wanted to buy adidas but dont really have adidas at WOS :(

kay time to sleep its 11.47 omg rawr.

Btw we lost to NTU and got 5th D:

STEP LADDER (:

2012-01-01T07:46:00.001-08:00

5th.

YAY.

Its a good start for 2012 (:

i need pia my exchange reflections before i sleep today.

Back in Singapore (:

2011-12-31T01:35:00.000-08:00

I must say it feels good to be at home once again, not that i love being at home or i hate staying in malaysia LOL.

Ate a lot of good food. Slept... okay la. Didnt sleep very little but didnt sleep a lot either. Missed playing polo a lot.

And I must say i had very good self control cos there were like a million times when i wanted to slap/punch my sisters right in their faces but i didn't even touch a single strand of their hair. Seriously, time will heal? I don't know whether it is my problem or isit their problem. Just can't stand the way they talk, the way they sit, the way they eat lol.

Nvm. Back at home. Everyone's doing their own stuff alr.

The whole trip felt kinda rush.

The first day was just travelling and sleeping cos i was too tired to care about anything else. Slept for 2-3 hours only for the past 2 nights and i just wanted to slp.

Second day. Went out to eat etc. Went a bit of shopping at jusco. Bought 2 books and some food.

Third day was the worst. Ate lunch then went out. I almost wanted to pull my hair out and shout fuck all of you at them but I DIDNT. I was freaking pissed for damn long. Or maybe because i didnt have patience. And i seriously can't stand certain people queuing for like half hour already and haven't thought of what to eat at MACS and still stood at the counter for another 10 min trying to decide on what to buy knn. Went to this street which was quite similar to taiwan. Ate food and my father keep complaining that we eating all his money knn. Then went to eat dinner again which we didnt really eat lol.

Went home slp. Today came homez. lol the first thing i did when i came home was to bathe. My cat and dog missed us damn a lot i think. lol. im like hungry now but theres nothing to eat emo D:

kay gonna pack my room and later do some of my arp report sigh D:

Oh i saw my timetable next year. Tuesday is an emo day because im the only one in class who ends at 9.30am =.= nvm i'm going to camp in the library. yay.

2 years.

2011-12-27T10:25:00.000-08:00

Hello new blog.

I decided to start blogging again because there are certain things that i dont want to type it out on facebook and share it with everyone, but if i dont type it out or do something about it i think i will explode. So yeapz this is a place to rant and shit and whatever. And blogging helps me to keep track of my life! Because my memory is super bad i really can't remember what i did the day before etc. And i'm like losing my direction in life because i dont know what i want to do with my life ._.

Since its an old url, only people who are close to me will know it :D

Anywayz, just taking a break from writing my ssef report.
We went for expedition today. It was kinda chillaxing. Paired with the super cute shiyi :D LOL. The wind and everything was nice. Plus my sunglasses, its just perfect :D Maybe it's cos i didnt sleep much last night, i became very grumpy after a while. We all paddled so fast that we had so much time to spare :D Someone insisted that we must play dog and bone or else we can't get out of the boat. And guess what! We ended it off with a loud BANG!! like literally BANG LOL.

Anywayz. We took lunch break at punggol jetty to eat. I was kinda surprised when i saw the jetty because it really looked different from what i saw from 2 years ago.

A few days ago, i heard some stuff. And i guess you've moved on. It's not that i'm still holding on to it or whatever. It just feels kinda weird because it has the dangling there feeling like i dont know whats going on and what went wrong. But i guess i wont get to know what went wrong alr.

Just hoping that the same thing won't happen again.

I guess 2 years can really change a lot of things. 2 years ago i was just a little kid peeping out to the world. Now that i've seen part of the mega big world, whatever that i saw 2 years ago felt so insignificant, but still memorable and unforgettable. It's k we'll all grow up (:

Sometimes when i watch drama, i really wonder whether these stories will happen in real life. They're like so real, but it's soooooooo uh impractical? haha i dont know. I'd rather be friends forever than to try out a relationship and then can't even be friends anymore. That's kinda sad D: If only everyone will have this ending, then the world would be a much nicer place LOL.

Kay i think i'm like dreaming alr. Back to ssef report D: